So City News Toronto did a short segment on Couch Surfing which went to air yesterday. By “couch surfing” I’m not referring to the sit on your couch and surf the TV channels variety, I’m actually speaking of an online project with the following mission statement… Participate in Creating a Better World, One Couch at a Time.
Furthermore,
CouchSurfing seeks to internationally network people and places, create educational exchanges, raise collective consciousness, spread tolerance and facilitate cultural understanding.
Now whilst this was good exposure for the CouchSurfing project, I did feel the focus was misguided. So I sent CityNews some feedback:
Hi There, I just wanted to give some feedback on the couch surfing piece. I think the exposure was good, and hopefully it will introduce some more people to the website and concept (and maybe a few more members will result out of it) however I felt that the focus was too much on cost saving and there was very little mentioned about the spirit, objective and mission for the project.
What viewers may not realise from the segment is that the entire project is based on volunteer work, and people sharing their couches and hearts not for financial gain or publicity, but for cross cultural understanding, breaking down pre-conceived notions/barriers, and building a better world.
Hopefully there will be a future piece that focuses on the entire project and not just the “saving hundreds on your next vacation” side of it.
Cheers.
CouchSurfing really is a fantastic project and I have made some amazing friends (my “crazy CS crew”) here in Toronto as a result of my involvement in the project, both as a host (I’ve had someone from Germany, and others from various parts of Ontario come and surf my couch) as well as a participant in the various meetups and events organised by members of the TO CS community (myself included). The only thing I have yet to do is to actually surf someone’s couch, and if all goes to plan that will be happening this weekend in Ottawa
To those who have natural concerns about meeting and staying with (or hosting) strangers I will admit that I had reservations initially too. However once I met some surfers at a meetup one night a few months ago at The Madison Pub here in Toronto, my perspective changed and the fears disappeared. Then I hosted a lovely couple - Martin from Cologne, Germany and his girlfriend Nicole who is currently doing an internship in Newmarket, Ontario - and I found the experience to be wonderful. Nicole has since become a great friend, frequently visiting Toronto when she can (which has been the past three weekends!) and often sharing her love of British television and German pop culture with me. Yes, we even watched David Hasselhoff videos on youtube together!
In an interesting turn of events I’ve learnt more about this city (and about myself) because I’ve had to open up to people, give directions to visiting surfers, as well as join them on their visits to festivals, eateries, events, meetups and more!
So anyways, if you are someone with an open mind who’s either travelling, intending to travel, likes to meet new people, enjoys learning about different cultures or all of the aforementioned well then I highly recommend joining Couchsurfing.com and getting involved.
As with anything if you are sensible with who you meet and what you do, and put safety first (use and trust your intuition!), then you can really have a great time and learn a great deal.
Couch surfing truly has opened my eyes to another way of traveling and learning about the world.
So despite the ridiculous blizzard-like conditions, crazy windchill factor (it was down to minus twenty degrees celsius or so or maybe even colder), waiting 20 mins for a street car that never arrived, and then walking past the Duke of Gloucester pub TWICE before realising where it was, I still ended up at the meetup for some crazy surfer bangers’N'mash action last night.
The turnout was impressive, and the food, beer and banter was much enjoyed.
It wasn’t all fun and games as the Ottawa trip committee also managed to pull together some form of a meeting and nut out some details for the forthcoming weekend. To clarify, a group of us Couch Surfers are heading to Ottawa this coming weekend to partake in Winterlude - the Ottawa Winter Festival and skate on “the world’s longest skating rink” - the Rideau Canal.
Great meeting some new surfers and always fun with the crazy crew (as I’ve come to know them as)!
In a previous post I mentioned an article written by a friend of mine, Stuart. Recently I went to my friend’s blog to find the article so that I could share it with another friend but to my surprise I discovered that the article and the entire site was no longer available! So I pinged Stuart and asked if he minded sharing the article with me and my friend. Stuart had no issues with me sharing the article with anybody.
Incidentally part of Oprah’s recent show on the LOA also focused on the idea of creating a “love list”. This is basically what Stuart wrote about a year ago. So here’s the article for your reading pleasure. Thanks again Stuart for sharing your wisdom with us.
Attracting an amazing partner
By Stuart Anderson
Finding a great partner is something which I believe is a very important avenue in which to grow and explore who I am as a human being. When I recently decided to get into a new relationship, I applied the approach outlined below.
The general approach that I have often seen put forward is that I have to find a partner. This typically involves having a general idea of what I am looking for and then go shopping for them. It is depicted as being difficult, full of pitfalls and dangers. You have to be careful not to find a ‘dud’ i.e. one who either doesn’t know what they wants or who will take you for a ride.
A typical scenario is to go to a supermarket and talk to anyone who ‘looks’ decent. If this approach works for you – great! If not then you may be interested to read further.
I have used this typical approach before and the problems I had with it are that I ended up looking in the ‘wrong’ places and, surprise-surprise, for the ‘wrong’ types of people. I don’t mean ‘wrong’ in the sense that the person I found was bad – I mean wrong in the sense that if I wanted to have a happy relationship any of the persons I found were unlikely to be able to support me to create a happy relationship.
Is it any surprise that I would find alcoholics when I looked in bars? I kept finding lots of people who were busy drinking away their issues. When I was in a fearful space, I kept finding people who were also fearful. They were looking at having a relationship with me to escape from their issues or for me to ’solve’ / ‘fix’ their problems. Another factor is that I often looked in the “same” places for someone “new”, and was disappointed time and again, when I kept meeting the “same type of people”.
Given how this method was obviously not working, I needed to change the recipe. There is an alternative approach which has worked for me and for several of my friends. It may seem strange to you at first (especially if you are new to the area of creating / personal development), however if you are just a little curious have a go and see what happens.
The first step is to look closely at what you want in a partner. What types of characteristics are important to you? Write out a list. Be specific. Are they taller than you or shorter? What is their hair colour? Describe their personality – do they have to be loving, caring, or generous? Are you particular about their hygiene? Are you particular with smokers or non-smokers? When doing this process, be honest with yourself and write down what really matters to you. This exercise is not about testing how “picky” you can be or how high you can set your standards. It is about being honest with yourself and respecting your preferences. If something does not matter to you, don’t write it down.
Once you have your list, have a look at it closely and picture this type of person that you want. Imagine all of his/her features and characteristics – this is the type of partner you want to be with!
The next step is to ask yourself: “Who would this type of person be attracted to?” “Who would he/she find desirable?” If you wrote down that they had to be loving – would this person be attracted to someone who is loving or someone who is not loving? It is obvious that they would be attracted to someone who is loving. If you wrote down someone who, for example, loves bushwalks or outdoor activities, it is likely that they would be attracted to someone who loves similar passions.
You can ask the same question for all of the items on your list. The response will be the same – if you want a person who is loving, compassionate and kind, they will also want to be with someone who has those characteristics.
Before long, you will realise that the key to creating this great partner is for you to be attractive to and aligned with him / her!
At this point you may find it worthwhile to ‘back’ test this method. Spend a while looking at your past relationships. What type of people have you created in the past? If you created an ‘inconsiderate’ partner, could you describe yourself as also being inconsiderate at that time?
What I discovered when I looked back at my past relationships was that I created partners who mirrored how I was feeling at that point in time. All of these relationships did not work for me because we were both searching for someone to fix the problems in our lives. I felt that I needed someone to make me see what the point to life was - someone I could believe in. Hence, I created partners who were just as needy and lost.)
You may meet a person who is loving, compassionate, kind, and very needy. This person has yet to choose to respect themselves and get clear with what they truly want in a partner.
The next step is crucial, and may not at first seem logical. Look at your list and work towards “becoming” your list. You will see that the list you have created is the type of human being – the type of partner you yourself would like to be. If you want someone loving, gentle and kind – you need to be loving, gentle and kind. If you want someone goal-oriented and seeking an abundant life, you need to be goal-oriented and seeking an abundant life. Focus on becoming the person who will be attractive to your ideal partner.
If you now realise that you need to become more loving, start doing more actions which are loving. This may be towards your family, friends or work colleagues. From my experience it does not matter who you are loving to. The point of the exercise is to realise what you want and what works for you, and align yourself as a human being by creating the habit of being loving in everything you do.
What you will discover is that to be in an amazing relationship, you need to stop “needing to be” in a relationship. Focus on yourself and work on how to become a better human being and the amazing partner you would like to be, and this amazing mirror-image of a person will step forward and approach you and want to get to know you.
If you continue being needy, you will continuously create relationships with similar people. From this space of scarcity and fear it is difficult for abundance to grow and be nourished. Feelings of need and fear (so long as they exist and prevail in your mind) will continuously sabotage any relationship you are in, no matter how intellectually determined you are to make it work.
The principle is to work on becoming that amazing and loving person you have always wanted to be, and soon you’ll be so surprised when your future partner approaches you and takes you by surprise.
Your amazing relationship is CREATED as a result of your thoughts and actions. Beautiful loving people attract other beautiful loving people! You don’t ever need to search for them …
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I just came across this article on attracting love in your life whilst searching for a picture to use for my post. Also a good read on this topic so check it out.
Last week Oprah did her fourth show on the law of attraction, and this one featured one of my favourite authors on personal development Louise Hay - author of “You Can Heal Your Life“. Incidently You Can Heal Your Life was just recently released as a gift edition bundle which includes the book in illustrated format, new DVD movie, affirmation cards, and music soundtrack. I received the bundle as a bday gift from Miss M (thanks buddy!), and it arrived in the mail last week yay!
Back on topic, what I liked about this particular show was that the three guests were asked to comment on what they thought of the release of “The Secret” a year ago and all three basically agreed that the DVD and book release served its purpose - to raise awareness and introduce people to the LOA concept. They went on to commentate about how there is much more to the LOA then what was on the DVD and I agree completely (in fact I said a similar thing in March 2007).
The various real life profiles and examples of the LOA at work provided on the show were interesting also.
Here’s the entire show, split into five parts. Enjoy.
