Sometime before midday yesterday…
I received a phone call from the Rogers install guy. He was scheduled to install my phone and internet connection between 2pm and 5pm. He advised me that his other booking had been cancelled so he was free to do the installation earlier. That was all fine. I told him about the conversation that I had had with the call centre last week and asked if he was carrying the wireless modem that I had requested. He said he knew nothing about it and he could only install standard modems. He also suggested that I call the call centre to sort it out.
I told him that I was not impressed.
Sometime after midday yesterday…
I spoke to a lady at the call centre and asked her what the story was. She advised me that the warehouse was out of wireless modems and they would be getting some in shortly. Until such time I could go into a Rogers store and pick up the modem.
So I called the store closest to my apartment. What I discovered was that only two stores in Toronto provided a pickup and exchange service for internet modems. Nice to know.
Later that day…
The tech calls me to say that he was advised that there was no available stock and that was why he didn’t have a wireless modem. He would go ahead with the installation and all I had to do was pick up a modem and plug it in. Alternatively if I couldn’t locate a modem I could call him back and request he deliver it the next day.
It appeared somebody had spoken to him since my last conversation.
Later that night…
I walked thirty minutes in the wrong direction in search of the Rogers store in the Victoria Park/Scarborough area. It was cold and I was advised (by the store) to get there before 8:30pm. For those familiar with the area I walked from Victoria Park Station, along Victoria Park Avenue to St Claire Avenue. As a result I had to backtrack and lose another 30 minutes before eventually finding the store.
Despite the setback I stayed calm and focused on the goal - getting to the shop in time.
I was relieved but that feeling last only a few minutes until I was informed that the store was out of wireless modems. I’m not sure how my demeanor was at that moment but I’m sure I wasn’t looking like a happy guy at that point. I thanked the lady and walked away. Mission unsuccessful.
Lessons that I took away from this experience:
1. Ask someone! (we men can be so stupid when it comes to asking for directions!)
2. Read the map carefully - do not assume that the rail tracks displayed on the map are the same as the rail tracks going through the Station. (Threw me off completely!)
3. Know when you’ve gone too far, and turn back before wasting any more time. (I should have known 20 mins into the walk and not having seen any streets on the map that I was going the wrong way)
4. When confirming availability with stock over the phone, be specific about the model that you require. Don’t assume that just because the guy on the other line says “yep we’ve got modems” that he means the wireless modem that you’re in need of.
5. When the install guy offers to drop off the modem tomorrow because he’s got none today - take him up on the offer.
Epilogue
So even though I didn’t get my modem, and I was still without internet in my apartment, and my shoulders were aching from lugging my bag (with laptop inside) around all that time, rationalised that I’d been surviving this long without it so a few more days wouldn’t hurt.
I crossed the street and stopped by Dominion (3003 Danforth Ave.). What a huge store! I bought some groceries and headed back to Victoria Park Station.
I arrived home, heated up one of the $1 microwave dinners that I had purchased and relaxed on the couch with the TV on.
It was just one of those days!
Whether we like it or not we’re always judging, and it’s not because we’re bad people nor does it make us bad people.
Judgment no matter how large/small/silly/emotionally charged is not conducive to happiness.
Here’s an email that I received today from the Hay House mailing list that explores this topic. It’s worth a read.
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Love or Judge?
by Robert Holden, Ph.D.
Unhappiness is energy plus judgment. Can you see that all unhappiness stems from a judgment of “this is bad” and “this is wrong”? Nothing, in itself, can make you unhappy, but the belief that what you’re witnessing must be “bad” and “wrong” will certainly encourage grief. Redundancy, for instance, need not be “bad” or “wrong,” but if you insist it must be so, then you’ll suffer great unhappiness. Look at your judgments!
The problem with judgment is that there is no is! Nothing is because everything has to be “good” or “bad” and “right” or “wrong.” In other words, there is no acceptance. Everything you see you judge. Seeing is judgment. Thinking is judgment. You see nothing as it is; you only see your judgment of it. It is this lack of acceptance and openness that causes you so much pain.
Judgment isn’t natural; it’s learned. Judgment is an attribute of the ego, and the ego is always on guard, ready to dispense its judgments. While you continue to judge, there’s no acceptance, no peace, and no rest. Because you were once afraid, you taught yourself to judge, but now you find that judgment only increases fear. Similarly, because you once lacked trust, you taught yourself to judge, but now you find that judgment diminishes any chance of trust.
If you judge something as “bad,” you must inevitably feel “bad.” If, you judge something as “good,” you will feel “good.” This is solid emotional mathematics. True freedom, however, comes from the willingness to give up judgment for love. This is particularly true when it comes to your judgments about emotions. When you’re willing to give up judging your emotions, you’re left with acceptance; and when you have acceptance, you also have love. Can you see that:
Fear, without judgment, is love.
Anger, without judgment, is love.
Guilt, without judgment, is love.
Depression, without judgment, is love.
Jealousy, without judgment, is love.
Hate, without judgment, is love.
Anxiety, without judgment, is love.
Sadness, without judgment, is love.
Pain, without judgment, is love.
Love, without judgment, is love.
Wisdom isn’t judgment; wisdom is the relinquishment of judgment. Can you see that whenever you judge anyone or anything, you are the one who experiences the effect of the judgment? This is what is meant by the saying “Judge not that ye may not be judged.” You may be angry at your mother, but it is your nervous system that feels the anger. You may be upset at your partner, but it is your mind that is unsettled. Judgment condemns and punishes everyone, including “ye” who judges.
Giving up judgment is only difficult because you still believe that judgment will somehow give you peace. To give up judgment, you must first realize that judgment cannot and will not give you peace. In other words . . .
judgment won’t make you safe;
it will only make you afraid.
Second, to give up judgment, you only have to understand that you don’t know enough about anything to make an accurate judgment. In other words, all your judgments are half-baked opinions and not whole truths. In the manual of A Course in Miracles, there are some wonderful words that read:
It is necessary for the teacher of God to realize, not that he should not judge, but that he cannot. In giving up judgment, he is merely giving up what he did not have. He gives up an illusion; or better, he has an illusion of giving up. He has actually merely become more honest. Recognizing that judgment was always impossible for him, he no longer attempts it. This is no sacrifice. On the contrary, he puts himself in a position where judgment through him rather than by him can occur. And this judgment is neither “good” nor “bad.” It is the only judgment there is, and it is only one: “God’s Son is guiltless, and sin does not exist.”
Third, in order to give up judgment, you can begin by not judging yourself for your judgments! I was recently interviewed for a magazine in which I was asked, “Are you judgmental?” The most honest reply I could give was, “I am as judgmental as I have ever been. However, I’ve learned not to judge myself for my judgments. I’ve also learned to take my judgments less seriously. Most judgments are fears, and I’m determined not to live my life by fear.”
Finally, judgment and love are opposites. By making a commitment to love and by cultivating a more loving outlook, judgment will automatically fall away. Love begets love; judgment begets judgment. The truth is . . .you cannot judge and love!
The experience of your entire life boils down, then, to a simple decision: Do you love, or do you judge? Which do you value the most? You so hoped that judgment would give you strength and peace, but there is no strength and peace in a mind that constantly judges. Love is strong. It is strong because it is free of fear and judgment. Love will give you all the peace you long for.
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Excerpt from Happiness NOW! by Robert Holden, Ph.D., Director of the internationally renowned Happiness Project. For more information, please visit hayhouse.com
I spent most of last Saturday on the couch watching home renovation shows. For you see I had discovered two shows in particular on the AETV channel - Sell This House and Flip This House. Now that I’m planning on starting my own renovation project (in Sydney) it was great to see how others have been doing it. Prior to watching the shows I wasn’t even aware how important staging was to maximise sales of a renovated property! So now I know. (Miss M if you’re reading this you gotta watch these shows!)
I finally cooked the pasta that I had purchased last week too. So I had three containers in the fridge ready to be re-heated whenever I needed them (as of last night I’m down to one).
After an entire day of exercising my remote control finger whilst training for the couch potato Olympics, I decided to get off the couch and head over to Nathan Phillips Square for the Cavalcade of Lights.
This festive event traditionally falls on the final weekend of November to kick-off the holiday season with the official illumination of the Square and giant Christmas tree with 100,000 festive lights.
Catching the street car from the Beaches to Queen, I walked west along Queen Street until I came upon the square. Along the way I noticed the groups of kids and their parents with their gazes fixed on the decorated store windows, inside of which were elaborate animated displays (similar to those at David Jones in Sydney).
I knew I was headed in the right direction because the Torontonians were out in force, despite the cold weather. If there’s one thing I credit the locals for it’s for not letting the weather be an excuse to not go out and enjoy the festivities.
The ice rink was open and filled with eager ice skaters. The lights were off in anticipation of the big moment when all the lights would go on later in the evening.
Stalls lined the west side of the square, serving hot chocolate, winter gear and other items.
It was at one of these stalls where I purchased a $2 hot chocolate and an apple desert thing.
So with hot chocolate, apple thing, and big ass camera in hand I attempted to find somewhere that I could watch the event comfortably. With so many people there it wasn’t easy. I ended up climbing a flight of stairs to an elevated level where I caught the ceremonial turning on of the lights and battled with the icy cold in order to get some snaps of the moment. My fingers were freezing up and the on/off switch on my camera was getting difficult to control. I managed to get a few decent shots. Good enough for me!
After the lights went on I walked down the stairs and behind the stage to the other side, then watched as some singer came on and took off her jacket to sing (she crazy man!).
As I watched the families and couples having fun being with each other I wished that I had a friend there to share the experience with me. As enjoyable as it was, I think festive events like that are better enjoyed with company.
Soon I decided that I had better head off and find heat because I was losing sensation in my feet.
So I found myself in the lower level food court of the Eaton Centre ordering up a nice and healthy serving of KFC. Yes, it was not a good call on my part and I felt sick afterwards. I noted that the chips and coleslaw were different to what I was accustomed to back in Sydney. The coleslaw was a bright green, and it was almost mushy. Very bizarre. It didn’t taste the best either so I had about two spoonfuls before giving up.
By the time I had finished eating I had already missed the scheduled fireworks displays so I walked back to the corner of Yonge and Queen and waited for the next street car to return home.
As the street car was pulling up to the stop I reached into my wallet to find some coins when a random stranger walked up to me and handed me a transfer ticket from the subway. I had a look of slight shock on my face when I thanked him. He smiled and rejoined his girlfriend. I checked the time on the ticket and it was valid. Though shocked, I was also grateful for the random act of kindness.
How did he know that I had spent far too much last week on public transport? How did he know that I had somehow managed to lose the change from the $10 that I had paid for the hot chocolate and apple earlier? He probably didn’t.
Whatever the case, that single gesture lit up my night more than anything else that I had experienced that evening.
