Here’s an interesting perspective on social interaction - specifically our (being the general populations’) apparent or fading inability to communicate i.e. to carry an intimate conversation.
The author writes:
Real conversation requires full presence. It requires listening and empathy.
A great conversation opens up spaces in your mind, it helps you mine thoughts even you didn’t know you had. Few pleasures can rival that.
I agree wholeheartedly, and even though there is some truth behind "the death of conversation" what I’ve been discovering lately (particularly in the past six to eight weeks) is that when somebody (i.e. me) is in a space where I am able to be open and honest - then whoever I am conversing with reciprocates.
Now of course it was also important to really identify who I wanted to connect with. I set myself a goal to connect with at least one person every week, and I mean to really connect. We’re talking no holds barred what the heck has been happening with you? I want the real story type conversations.
I’m happy to report that I’ve had great success. Furthermore it’s not only been with friends, but with strangers too. Such as the time I had a lengthy discussion with the lady in the US Customs queue at LA Airport.
So what’s the secret to healthy and meaningful conversation?
Well for me it was a simple of case of not wanting more of the same pointless chatter. I’ve got more than enough of that in my own head, so having more of it in my physical existence wasn’t really adding any value to my life.
Translating that to the real world (I’ll spare you any Matrix - like commentary here) what that meant was a lot of commitment, effort, and vigilance on my part. The vigilance came in the form of overcoming silly notions in my head that people "may be too busy"; and eliminating destructive thoughts such as "it’s been too long so we’ll have nothing to talk about" or "they might think I’m crazy". Seriously, pay attention to it and hit the [ignore] button.
I sent out dozens of emails asking specific people if they wanted to catch up, frequent follow-up and then I proceeded to make appointments with those that I sensed were in a similar mental and spiritual space.
It sounds weird I know, but what was more intriguing was the fact that when the lunches, dinners and coffees did occur - they were absolutely amazing.
By sharing who I am and where I am at this point in my life I unconsciously opened up a space for them to trust me and share themselves fully. Sometimes I left the conversation thinking to myself, "wow, did that actually just happen?" and it really did!
That which is like unto itself, is drawn… Esther Hicks.
So next time you’re thinking "I could do with a real quality talk right about now" go out and make it happen. It’s easier than you may think.
On Sunday, August 12, my friends and I are participating in the Sun-Herald City2Surf.
Please support my team as we endeavor to complete the 14km city 2 surf this year in less than 10 hours (hey you try it)!
In all seriousness, we are aiming to raise $2000 AUD for the Cancer Council of NSW so it’s a worthy cause. You can find out more about the charity that we are raising money for by clicking on the image below to visit our very own fundraising page.
You can also help our fundraising efforts by linking to this page and passing the message onto as many people as possible.
Thanks for your support!
- Anf and Team Crush.
http://city2surf.everydayhero.com.au/crush
… make it Suntory time.
(I need to watch this movie again)
Ohayo gozaimasu!
So it’s a friend’s birthday today. She’s half Japanese so I thought I’d send her a birthday wish in Japanese. Of course my command of the Japanese language is just about as good as my command of Chinese i.e. I have no idea, so I had to turn to my trusty intarweb yet again.
That is how I came across Tokyocube. Now this is really cool site - it’s practical and I quite like the layout. I opted to go with the informal dialog. Tanjoubi omedetou! Hopefully it makes sense to her!
So according to Chinese Astrology I’m an Earth Horse.
EARTH HORSE Horoscope
Feb 7, 1978 to Jan 27, 1979
Horse people have a balance of the best kind of qualities. Have you ever seen a wild horse on the beach, with flying mane and flaring nostrils, every muscle bursting with life and je ne sais quois? Without a doubt, the Horse is the standard for grace, strength, rhythm and nobility. They have an amazing capacity for hard work. As a result, they know great success and financial security in their lifetimes. Often quite ostentatious, they enjoy being with large crowds and always seek out the grand and magnificent. They need people and have a weakness for those of the opposite sex. You can often find Horses at concerts, music festivals, and the Super Bowls of life.
Parsley Soup and Ginger Root are among the keys to good health!!
With head held high, the mighty Earth Horse never has to apologize, never has the pangs of a guilty conscience gnawing away the very soul. The life of the Earth Horse passes all scrutiny. Earth Horses are elegant, spirited, and adventurous creatures. Poetry in motion! Earth Horses are among the most generous and caring of friends, tolerant of their friends’ shortcomings, never judging, never showing cynicism. They blend the right balance of sympathy and empathy. As faithful and unwavering as the Horses are in their devotion to friends, it is important to tell you that they are never weaklings or martyrs. Their inherent dignity and pride demand honor and admiration. Earth Horses appreciate the good things of life and because of their dedication to their careers, have the financial resources to keep life on a steady keel. When it comes to Love & Relationships, life for the Earth Horse is exceedingly sad and dreary without love. The Earth Horse will go the extra length to please their partners. They love wild and romantic weekends and traditional whisperings of sweet nothings. They pass a happy life, their blood coursing with life bursting cadence.
I was told not too long ago in a random encounter in an Indian restaurant with two Chinese Indonesian workers (long story) that last year was a great year for me to have kids and that my next opportunity was 2010. This was because, as a Horse, I’m most compatible with the Dog and the Tiger and having children on the year of either of those animals is considered fortunate and prosperous. Well yes I certainly did miss out on last year, considering I didn’t have anybody to have any children with (LOL) but we’ll see how we go for 2010. It’s rather funny because now I feel a bit of a race against time!
No matter what my beliefs are at this point in time I found the discussion extremely interesting, and considering that the Chinese have been following these philosophies for centuries (way before Western religion came along) I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some truth to it. I guess as my quest for understanding and knowledge continues I’m finding that I’m far more open to different belief systems now. This can only be a good thing.